Tuesday, July 14, 2009
lab rat part 2 - adult only content
It's treatment 2 and true to the non-disclosure agreement I won't say what's being done to me. Today let's talk about slime, in particular the slime that is gooped onto your body. The flawless beauty uses an industrial-sized spatula to spread this gel. The tube of slime is kept at a temperature slightly above absolute zero, or maybe about the same temperature as dry ice (frozen carbon dioxide). When it hits your skin the stuff sublimates (goes directly from a solid to a gas), and if I could see what's going on behind me I'm sure clouds of steam are coming of my now cold glutes. The sound-proof room muffles any screams (just kidding), and the whole thing is over before you can say "fat-cells-be- gone" or whatever the Hogwarts equivalent to that phrase might be. When I grew up in Alberta there used to be car races advertised as "stock" not "modified". This meant that the stock cars were the same as if they had come out of a dealer's show room and did not have anything special under the hood. I've always said that I was "stock", not "modified", and am reasonably sure I can still say this after the clinical trials are over.